The Death of Steadfast
Agamemnon/Kairos (Ancient Greek Religion & Lore)
雄鹿從草叢中抬頭之時,卡伊洛斯(Kairos)輕扯阿加門農(Agamemnon)的衣角,箭矢飛出,屍體倒地。「有你在,我總能掌握最佳時機,」阿加門農脫口而出,他抽出匕首劃開野鹿的脖頸,「總有一天,我會繼承邁錫尼,我會統治這片海域的所有國家,卡伊洛斯,你會在我身邊見證一切。」
「你的野心會害死你,阿加門農,」卡伊洛斯對少年之姿的凡人吐露青澀的諫言。
「但這才是王子該有的氣度,卡伊洛斯,你不明白。」阿加門農反駁。
「正因為我明白,我才會待在你身邊。」卡伊洛斯回答,那時,阿加門農已經帶著他的獵物返回宮裡。
阿加門農向年齡相仿的僕從卡伊洛斯說,他將會奪回墨涅拉俄斯的妻子海倫,他將會踏平特洛伊讓他們付出代價。卡伊洛斯看向海風吹拂下的水面,「你的野心會害死你,陛下。」
似曾相識的諫言卡伊洛斯似乎曾對阿加門農說過,「你是我唯一允許妄下狂言的人,卡伊洛斯。」阿加門農笑著說。
克呂泰涅斯特拉一刀劃開阿加門農的喉嚨,血液噴湧不止。
「阿加門農!阿加門農!」卡伊洛斯試圖按住傷口,阿加門農顫抖著雙唇,睜大雙眼瞪著他,彷彿要說些什麼,卡伊洛斯低下頭,耳邊靠在他吐著血的唇上。卡伊洛斯什麼也沒聽見,只有血液湧出的脈動聲,然後他疼愛的凡人失去了氣息,卡伊洛斯的心也隨之死去。
---
「我會踏平特洛伊,讓他們付出代價!」他的國王站在懸崖邊,似曾相識——
「是的,你會的,陛下。」卡伊洛斯卻望向海面,「但你的野心會害死你。」
「你是我唯一允許妄下狂言的人,卡伊洛斯,看管好我的宮殿,好嗎?」國王的手拍在他的肩上。
「不……我甚至不知道是該盼望你的歸來,還是你的海上死訊,」卡伊洛斯感覺到雙頰上的水痕。
「卡伊洛斯,」國王將他轉向自己,捧著卡伊洛斯的頭,指腹抹了抹卡伊洛斯眼下的水痕,「我會回來。」
那天,他的國王吻了他,那是遭受神罰以來從未發生過的事,所以卡伊洛斯以為這次會不一樣,然而,當阿加門農回到宮殿接受王后的歡迎,銀刃一刀捅在國王的胸口。卡伊洛斯低下頭,耳朵貼在阿加門農吐血的雙唇上,他聽到——你是對的。
邁錫尼的凡人國王再次失去氣息。
---
「海倫是個美麗的女人,我會協助墨涅拉俄斯,他則會協助我迎娶克呂泰涅斯特拉,」阿加門農在廷達柔斯的宴席上低聲說,卡伊洛斯抬頭看向他的主子,阿加門農轉向主桌的克呂泰涅斯特拉,卡伊洛斯隻字未言,他起身離開斯巴達宮殿。
他走下山丘時,邁錫尼的國王在身後喊著,卡伊洛斯沒有後悔,阿加門農卻阻止了他。在斯巴達的海岸上,那是卡伊洛斯收到第二個吻的地點,阿加門農依然娶了那個最終用熱油燙死他的女人。
---
卡伊洛斯見過阿加門農被割喉,匕首插進胸口、在樓梯下摔斷脊椎、繩索纏在他脖子上、熱油淋身、嘔出毒酒、火焰焚身、被獸群啃食;但是被命運三女神懲罰後,他從未見過阿加門農死後隔天的太陽。
---
「我會踏平特洛伊!」阿加門農對大海立誓。
「去啊!」卡伊洛斯怒吼,阿加門農雙眼楞睜地回望他,「我寧可你死在海裡,我寧可你不要回來,我寧可你輸了戰役!」
阿加門農掐住卡伊洛斯,憤怒讓他的兩眼通紅,「你在詛咒你的國王,卡伊洛斯!收回你的話!」卡伊洛斯扒抓著禁錮脖子的手臂,他瞪著眼前的人,雙頰濕潤,視線模糊,呼吸也變得痛苦,卻不比肋骨下的心更痛。
卡伊洛斯沒有答覆,他凝視國王的憤怒,然後鬆開手,闔上雙眼,放棄掙扎,脖子上的手一度掐緊,但隨後放開了。卡伊洛斯倒在沙地上咳嗽,當他睜眼時,只看見國王的背影走下崖邊,這一次,他沒再見過阿加門農,他在懸崖上聽說,從特洛伊戰爭歸來的陛下在宮裡遇害了。
---
「總有一天,我會繼承邁錫尼,我會統治這片海域的所有國家,」阿加門農劃開雄鹿的脖頸,「卡伊洛斯,你會在我身邊見證一切。」
「不……我不會的,殿下,我再也辦不到了,」卡伊洛斯臉頰被自己的悲傷浸溼。
「卡伊洛斯?」卡伊洛斯轉身離開森林,即使聽到後方的呼喊,他也沒有回頭,即使聽到奔向他的腳步聲,他也沒有停下,直到他被熟悉的握力阻止。
「卡伊洛斯!我命令你停下!」
卡伊洛斯身後的少年咆哮著,他轉身怒吼,「命令吧!命令我去死!命令我刺瞎自己的雙眼!命令我戳穿自己的雙耳!因為我再也無法忍受你因為愚蠢的野心喪命!」
「卡伊洛斯……你到底怎麼了,發生什麼事?是因為父親嗎?是叔父嗎?是哪個傢伙!回答我,卡伊洛斯!」卡伊洛斯被囚禁在他自己的主子手裡,淚水橫流。
「是你,是你對英雄名聲的愚昧追求,阿加門農,讓我走!」
「我不允許!」阿加門農怒吼,「你不能走,你是我的!卡伊洛斯,你是我的,你懂嗎!你是屬於我的!」卡伊洛斯痛哭失聲,這次,他得到他的第三個吻、第四個吻、第五個吻,失去他的無盡生命裡的第一個貞潔。阿加門農回宮的時候,手上沒有野鹿屍體,他帶回雄鹿角雕刻的神像。
「海倫是個美麗的女人,我會協助墨涅拉俄斯,他則會協助我迎娶克呂泰涅斯特拉,」阿加門農在廷達柔斯的宴席上低語,卡伊洛斯當晚就離開了斯巴達,阿加門農最終在海蝕崖上找到他。
「克呂泰涅斯特拉呢?」卡伊洛斯問,「克呂–不!我不會娶她,卡伊洛斯。」卡伊洛斯站在崖邊,阿加門農不敢走近。
「為什麼?」
「什麼叫作為什–卡伊洛斯,因為那會讓你離去,我為什麼要這麼做?」
「你什麼時候在乎過我了。」
「我在乎你!我–你不可能不知道!我一直都很在乎你!」阿加門農咆哮,卡伊洛斯的心卻是無風的海面,他蹲下,坐在海蝕崖上面向大海。「我的野心會害死你,是嗎?」阿加門農問。
「阿加門農?」
「我的野心會害死你,」阿加門農無畏地走向懸崖,他沒有從地上扶起卡伊洛斯,邁錫尼的國王手握神像坐在懸崖上,「如果我的野心會害死你,我便不需要它。」
阿加門農在斯巴達的求婚儀式第二天乘船離開。卡伊洛斯先前從未見過婚慶期間的米爾托翁海,因為他應當在斯巴達參加婚禮,所以卡伊洛斯也從未在米爾托翁海上飄蕩的小船裡撿到孤單的新生兒雙子。阿加門農堅稱伊菲革涅亞(Iphigenia)與俄瑞斯忒斯(Orestes)是月神阿耳忒彌斯賜與他的一雙兒女,因為他放棄奪取斯巴達公主克呂泰涅斯特拉的貞潔,阿加門農為此發誓永不狩獵月神的母鹿。
墨涅拉俄斯迎娶了海倫,特洛伊挾持了海倫,墨涅拉俄斯召集希臘聯軍遠征。
儘管阿加門農未曾與海倫的追求者們一同發過誓,他仍准許墨涅拉俄斯的出征,本人卻並未踏出邁錫尼宮殿參與戰役。「無爭王」是人民給他的恥名,先知則說阿加門農掌握了「存活的機運(Καιρός επιβίωσης)」,諸王之王阿加門農將從無數紛爭之中倖存,直到他將王位交給成年的養子,終結阿特柔斯的詛咒。
As the stag lifted its head from the brush, Kairos tugged lightly at the hem of Agamemnon's tunic. The arrow flew; the body collapsed.
"With you around, I always catch the perfect moment," Agamemnon blurted out, drawing his dagger to slit the deer's throat. "One day, I will inherit Mycenae, and I will rule every nation across these seas. And you, Kairos, will be right by my side to witness it all."
"Your ambition will be the death of you, Agamemnon," Kairos offered his naive counsel to the boyish mortal.
"But that is the true measure of a prince, Kairos. You wouldn't understand," Agamemnon retorted.
"It is precisely because I understand that I stay by your side," Kairos replied. By then, Agamemnon was already heading back to the palace with his kill.
➳
Agamemnon told Kairos, a servant of his own age, that he would reclaim Menelaus's wife, Helen, and that he would trample Troy to the ground to make them pay. Kairos looked out over the sea breeze sweeping across the water. "Your ambition will be the death of you, Your Grace." It was a familiar warning, one Kairos felt he had spoken before.
"You are the only one I allow to speak such insolence, Kairos," Agamemnon said with a laugh.
➳
Clytemnestra sliced open Agamemnon's throat, blood spurting endlessly.
"Agamemnon! Agamemnon!"
Kairos scrambled to press down on the wound. Agamemnon's lips trembled, his eyes wide and staring at Kairos as if trying to say something. Kairos leaned down, pressing his ear to the king's blood-frothed lips. He heard nothing—only the wet, pulsing sound of the hemorrhage.
Then, the mortal he cherished breathed his last, and Kairos's heart died with him.
---
"I will crush Troy and make them pay!" His king stood at the edge of the cliff. A sense of déjà vu—
"Yes, you will, Your Grace," Kairos said, gazing out at the ocean. "But your ambition will be the death of you."
"You are the only one I allow to speak such insolence, Kairos. Look after my palace, won't you?" The king patted his shoulder.
"No… I don't even know whether I should pray for your return or for the news of your death at sea." Kairos felt the wet tracks of tears on his cheeks.
"Kairos." The king turned the servant to face him, cradling his head and wiping the tears away with his thumbs. "I will come back."
That day, his king kissed him. It was something that hadn't happened since the divine punishment began, so Kairos thought this time would be different. Yet, when Agamemnon returned to the palace to his queen's welcoming embrace, a silver blade was plunged into his chest.
Kairos leaned down, pressing his ear against Agamemnon's blood-frothed lips, and heard: You were right.
The mortal king of Mycenae breathed his last once more.
---
"Helen is a beautiful woman. I will help Menelaus, and in return, he will help me wed Clytemnestra," Agamemnon murmured at Tyndareus's banquet.
Kairos looked up at his master. As Agamemnon turned his attention back to Clytemnestra at the high table. Kairos didn't say a word, he simply stood up and left the Spartan palace.
As he walked down the hill, the King of Mycenae called out from behind him. Kairos had no regrets, but Agamemnon stopped him. On the shores of Sparta, Kairos received his second kiss. Even so, Agamemnon still married the woman who would eventually boil him alive in scorching oil.
---
Kairos had seen Agamemnon get his throat slit, a dagger shoved into his chest, his spine snapped at the bottom of a staircase, a rope wrapped around his neck, scalded by boiling oil, coughing up poisoned wine, immolated in flames, and devoured by wild beasts. But ever since being cursed by the Three Fates, he had never once seen the sun rise on the day after Agamemnon's death.
---
"I will trample Troy!" Agamemnon swore to the sea.
"Then go!" Kairos roared. Agamemnon stared back at him, wide-eyed. "I'd rather you die at sea! I'd rather you never come back! I'd rather you lose the damn war!"
Agamemnon seized Kairos by the throat, his eyes red with fury. "You dare curse your king, Kairos! Take it back!"
Kairos clawed at the arm constricting his neck. He glared at the man before him, his cheeks wet, his vision blurring, every breath an agony. And yet, it hurt less than the heart breaking beneath his ribs.
Kairos didn't answer. He stared into the king's wrath, then loosened his grip, closed his eyes, and gave up the struggle. The hand around his throat tightened for a second, then abruptly let go. Kairos collapsed onto the sand, coughing. When he opened his eyes, he only saw the king's back retreating down the cliff. He didn't see Agamemnon again after that.
Later, sitting on the edge of a cliff, he heard the news. His Majesty, having returned from the Trojan War, had been assassinated in his palace.
---
"One day, I will inherit Mycenae, and I will rule every nation across these seas." Agamemnon slit the stag's throat. "And you, Kairos, will be right by my side to witness it all."
"No… I won't, Your Highness. I can't do this anymore." Kairos's face was drenched in his own sorrow.
"Kairos?"
Kairos turned and walked away from the forest. Even when he heard the shouts behind him, he didn't look back. Even when he heard the footsteps sprinting after him, he didn't stop. Until a familiar grip halted him.
"Kairos! I command you to stop!"
The teenage boy behind him bellowed. Kairos spun around and screamed back, "Then command me! Command me to die! Command me to gouge out my own eyes! Command me to pierce my own ears! Because I can no longer bear to watch you die for your foolish ambition!"
"Kairos… what is wrong with you? What happened? Is it my father? My uncle? Who did this! Answer me, Kairos!" Trapped in his master's grasp, Kairos sobbed uncontrollably.
"It's you! It's your idiotic obsession with Kleos(glory)! Agamemnon. Let me go!"
"I forbid it!" Agamemnon roared. "You cannot leave. You are mine! Kairos, you are mine, do you understand! You belong to me!"
Kairos broke down in agonizing sobs. That time, he received his third kiss, his fourth, his fifth, and surrendered his virginity for the first time in his endless life.
When Agamemnon returned to the palace, he didn't bring back a deer carcass. Instead, he brought an idol carved from the stag's antlers.
➳
"Helen is a beautiful woman. I will help Menelaus, and in return, he will help me wed Clytemnestra," Agamemnon whispered at Tyndareus's banquet. Kairos left Sparta that very night. Agamemnon finally caught up to him on a sea cliff.
"What about Clytemnestra?" Kairos asked.
"Clytem- No! I'm not going to marry her, Kairos." Kairos stood near the edge, and Agamemnon didn't dare step closer.
"Why?"
"What do you mean why? Kairos, because that would make you leave! Why would I do that?"
"Since when did you ever care about me?"
"I care about you! I- how could you not know? I have always cared about you!" Agamemnon yelled, but Kairos's heart remained as still as a windless sea. He crouched down, sitting on the edge of a cliff facing the ocean.
"My ambition will be the death of you, won't it?" Agamemnon asked.
"Agamemnon?"
"My ambition will be the death of you." Agamemnon fearlessly walked toward the edge. He didn't pull Kairos up from the ground. Instead, the King of Mycenae sat down beside him on the cliff, holding the carved idol. "If my ambition will kill you, then I don't need it."
Agamemnon sailed away the day after the Spartan courtship ceremony. Kairos had never seen the Myrtoan Sea during the wedding festivities before, because he was always supposed to be in Sparta attending the wedding. Because of this, Kairos had never before found the lonely newborn twins adrift in a small boat on the Myrtoan Sea.
Agamemnon insisted that Iphigenia and Orestes were a pair of children gifted to him by Artemis, goddess of the moon, as a reward for giving up his claim to the Spartan princess Clytemnestra's virginity. In return, Agamemnon swore an oath never to hunt the goddess's sacred hinds.
Menelaus married Helen. Troy abducted Helen. Menelaus rallied the Greek allied forces for an expedition.
Even though Agamemnon had never sworn an oath with Helen's other suitors, he permitted Menelaus's campaign, but he never stepped foot outside the Mycenaean palace to join the war himself. "The Unwarring King" was the shameful moniker the people gave him. But the seers proclaimed that Agamemnon had grasped the "Opportunity of Survival" (Καιρός επιβίωσης).
The King of Kings, Agamemnon, survived countless strifes, living long enough to pass the throne to his adult adopted son, finally ending the curse of the House of Atreus.
---
Another way to read this: Assume that Kairos never physically existed in this narrative. Instead, he represents the Greek god of opportunity, Caerus(Καιρός), serving purely as the manifestation of Agamemnon's inner consciousness.
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