The #1 fan always losing ticketing war #4

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Ilya POV

是Ilya提議在下一場公開演奏會前，再安排一次公開活動，因為他想念Shane了。當他要求必須在加拿大舉辦的時候，Svetlana邊翻白眼邊回覆CBC的採訪邀請。CBC的The Current是不同於巡演的訪談活動，不是為了向唱片公司展現實力的表演，所以他想挑選不同的演奏曲目，不是競賽用的那種，而是更具懷念的曲子。

作為他的童年玩伴兼經紀人的Svetlana對選曲沒有意見，希望Jane會喜歡，她只有這麼回應。

開始演奏前，Ilya也是這麼想的，希望Shane會喜歡。但是當他在掌聲如雷的人群中看見走神的Shane，他感覺心跳漏了一拍，他忍不住撇開目光，低下頭卻被觀眾視為鞠躬。當他想再次確認而抬起頭時，卻依然看見Shane不為所動，沒有任何表情，沒有任何鼓掌。

Ilya倉促地走下舞台。

當Ilya在後臺問候CBC邀請的貴賓、幫粉絲簽名，他時不時瞥向後台的VIP通道，每一次口袋裡的手機傳來震動，他都會拿出來查看，但是沒有任何一則訊息來自"Jane"，沒有任何名叫Shane的粉絲向他索要簽名，沒有任何一束粉絲的獻花是百合花。

他的演出讓他失望了。

Ilya在手機裡打出最後一則訊息，送出，然後無視了Svetlana投來擔憂的目光，他走向洗手間。

他看到Shane靠在洗手台上，雖然只是背影，但是Ilya已經從舞台上記熟Shane今天的穿著，雙排扣西裝與黑色襯衫的全黑搭配，同色的闊腿西裝褲以及尖頭漆皮皮鞋，然後當Shane轉身抬頭看向他，沒錯，那是──別在左襟劍領的鑽石胸針。甚至是與Ilya最後一場北美巡演穿戴的同款胸針，Shane買了，配戴了，然後搭配整套服裝來看他的現場訪談演出。

Shane羞紅的臉頰閃閃發光，Ilya感覺窒息(breathtaking)。

他最終順利地交換聯繫方式，雖然只是Ilya單方面強迫Shane收下他的電話號碼。他躺在蒙特婁公寓的沙發上，那間因為他太頻繁往返加拿大被Svetlana建議租下的公寓。Ilya滑動手機螢幕，瀏覽"Jane"的對話紀錄，等著Shane用他的電話號碼聯繫他。即使希望渺茫。

L Shane? Where you are? You no come to backstage?

L You still in Centre? You lost?

L Shane?

L I let you down?

L Typo. *HE* let you down?

<span class="dm-time">THU 23.08</span><br />

J Sorry. Had some personal stuff come up, didn't make it backstage.

Shane果然先回覆了Lily的對話，Ilya立刻敲打鍵盤。百合花香正在他的公寓裡瀰漫。

J Sorry. Had some personal stuff come up, didn't make it backstage.

L Is fine. He telled me already. You met in restroom.

J He told you we met?! Omg, I'm actually so embarrassed. He thought I didn't like the performance today.

L You not enjoy?

J I TOTALLY ENJOYED IT. Today was amazing! I've never seen him play like that before.

J I'm rewatching the archive right now. He was incredible today. And when he talked about the impact of his mother's death... my eyes literally welled up with tears.

L First you cry, then you say music sad. Is today that bad?

J HE TOLD YOU THAT TOO?? I told him to forget what I said!! I didn't mean it like that...

J Ughhhhh I'm so SO embarrassed right now.

L But that piece really sound sad? That 'Dreaming'?

J ...yes

J Even now, listening to it again, it still gives me this overwhelming feeling of sadness.

J PLEASE DON'T TELL HIM.

L Okay.

L I think I know reason.

Ilya放下手機，頭向後靠著沙發扶手，仰面朝上，落地燈在天花板照出一圈柔和的光。這是Ilya第一次在公開場合談到mama，這很私密，那段談話也沒有排進一開始的採訪稿裡，但是Ilya一想到Shane坐在第一排聽他談論他生命中最重要的女人，Ilya突然有了勇氣說出這些，他也很感激主持人後來穩重地引導後續訪談。然後他現在即將向Shane吐露更多，他闔上眼，深呼吸，聞到百合的芬芳。

他睜開眼，拿起手機。

L I think I know reason.

L Is his mama.

J What?

J Wait. Should I even know this? Svetlana, are you sure you're allowed to share this with me? I'm literally just a FAN. I feel like I shouldn't be hearing stuff this personal.

Ilya會心一笑，正因為Shane人太好了，才會讓Ilya滔滔不絕。

J Wait. Should I even know this? Svetlana, are you sure you're allowed to share this with me? I'm literally just a FAN. I feel like I shouldn't be hearing stuff this personal.

L I think he want you know. Especially after he tell me you say music sound sad.

J Fine. I promise I won't tell a soul, but if I get in trouble for this, Lily, it's 100% your fault.

L Ofc😂

L Schumann's Scenes from Childhood was his mama favorite.

這是真的，Mama總在睡前坐在鋼琴前彈奏Dreaming，Ilya只要闔上眼就能聽到Mama的音色飄向童年的床前，她呼喚Ilya的聲音卻在記憶裡模糊不清。

L Schumann's Scenes from Childhood was his mama favorite.

J Fuck

J Sorry

J Was he thinking about his mother when he played? I feel so bad now for saying his music sounded sad.

L Don't be. He feel relieved when you say that to him.

L He feel finally someone understand.

J ...Then I'm honored to be that person.

Ilya的視線逐漸模糊，情緒如風雪。他爬下沙發，走向鋼琴，他沒有打開天花板燈，只有落地燈作為室內唯一的光源，他在微亮的鋼琴房裡壓下琴鍵。旋律迴盪屋內，黑暗也不成阻礙，因為每一個音符都照亮房間，驅走他內心所有陰霾。當音樂帶走他的眼淚，Ilya才聽到手機震動的嗡嗡聲。

Unknown Number Hey, it's Shane. Or Jane. Not sure how Svetlana talked about me, but I'm the fan from the restroom today. I hope you remember giving me your number.

L Yes, Shane. I remember.

Ilya立刻把這支號碼加進聯絡人。

L Yes, Shane. I remember.

Shane💐: So... sorry again for what I said about your music today. I didn't mean anything by it. It was just such a shock, it really threw me off. I'm so sorry!

I Svetlana not tell you stop apologize? I understand. No angry.

I Actually, I like comment. Tell more about today, Shane.

S Okay... I really liked what you said about classical music history.

I Boring. 

I You learn music only by READ history? That just opening talk show. Tell me something else.

S Okay. Fine.

S You mentioned you thought piano was boring when you were a kid, that was actually pretty interesting.

I How interesting?

S I mean, you're literally a world-class pianist now. It's wild you thought it was boring, even if it was just a childhood thing.

I Is very boring. Still.

S: Wait, you think so even now? That piano is boring?

I: Sometimes. Especially when you not at concert.

S: What does that have to do with me???? I'm just a fan. 

S And I was at every single concert on the North American tour.

I: Every single concert?

S: Every single one.

I: Prove it.

S: HOW DO I EVEN PROVE THAT???

Ilya搓揉著胸前的項鍊，思緒停駐在"prove"，他無意識地將十字架綴飾放上門牙咬著，繼續敲打鍵盤。

I: May 18th. Where?

S: Kimmel Center for the Performing Arts.

I: May 28th.

S: Chicago Symphony Center. Come on, you can literally look this up on the website.

S That day, a kid started crying in the second half, and you suddenly changed the rhythm to match his crying. The whole audience laughed.

I: Chicago people need to learn how soothe kids.

I: Pedal bit loose on June 4th. You hear it creak?

S: Davis Symphony Hall. No, but it definitely creaked when you jumped up on the bench to play. A lot of people gasped.

I: All San Francisco chairs need stress testing. I did not jump. I just shift my lovely, perky butt.

S: Yeah... sure. Blame the bench then, 

S not your...

與Shane的一來一往讓Ilya忍不住大膽，他只是試探性對Shane調情，而Shane也回應了。他含住項鍊的十字架綴飾，舌尖嚐到金屬味，但他也決定今晚不會繼續推動Shane，他打算把這個氣氛懸在那裡，吊著Shane，而他還有其他更想試探的問題。

I. June 22nd. A fan give me lilies and run away.

I Why?

S. Montreal Symphony Hall. 

S I 

S. I panicked. Sorry.

I. I do something wrong?

S. No, you were great. Absolutely fantastic.

I. I was so great that you run away.

I Next time I play little worse. You stay then?

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Ilya看著輸入泡泡反覆顯示又消失，感覺焦躁也隨之升高，他呼出一口氣。他不想讓Shane難堪，當他決定更改說詞的時候，訊息出現了。

S: Yes.

S: No.

S: I mean YES. But you don't need to play worse, I won't run away next time.

I: You promise?

S: Yes.

I: You swear on piano bench in Davis Symphony Hall that if you break promise, next pianist who sit on it have his butt smashed, unless he have butt as perky as mine.

S: Why- What does this even have to do with the piano bench?

S: Okay, I swear.

I: Swear to what?

S: I swear on the piano bench at Davis Symphony Hall that next time I finish an Ilya Rozanov performance, I won't run away.

I: If you break promise?

S: Fine. If I break my promise, the next pianist to sit on that piano bench will have his butt smashed.

I: Unless?

S: FINE. Unless that pianist has a butt like yours.

I: Like mine? Like mine how?

S: AS PERKY AS YOURS, OKAY?

S: Are you happy now?

I: Happy.

非常、非常快樂。

Ilya得到他的答案了，今天足夠滿足了。

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Shane的穿著是參考Hudson出席2026 Oscars的all-black Balenciaga! 我知道Hudson配戴的Bvlgari胸針跟Connor的Tiffany不一樣，但是拜託──我們都同意我們總會去買偶像的同款穿著(如果我有錢)，對吧？🥺

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Ilya was the one who suggested squeezing in another public event before his next concert, mostly because he missed Shane. Svetlana rolled her eyes while replying to the CBC invite, but she went ahead with it. The Current was different from his usual tour stops. It wasn't about showing off for record labels. He wanted to pick a different selection, nothing competitive, just piece that felt nostalgic.

As his childhood friend and manager, Svetlana didn't have any complaints about the music. "Hope Jane likes it," was all she said.

Ilya had been thinking the exact same thing right before he started playing. Hope Shane likes it. But when he spotted Shane looking totally spaced out in the middle of the cheering crowd, his heart skipped a beat. He instinctively looked away, bowing his head to hide his reaction, though the audience just thought he was taking a bow. When he looked up again to make sure, Shane still hadn't moved. He had no expression, and he wasn't clapping. Nothing.

Ilya practically ran off the stage.

While greeting VIPs and signing autographs backstage, Ilya kept glancing toward the entrance. Every time his phone buzzed in his pocket, he pulled it out to check, but there was never a message from "Jane." No fan named Shane asked for a signature, and not a single bouquet brought to him was made of lilies.

His performance had let Shane down.

Ilya typed out one last text, sent it, and ignored Svetlana's worried look as he headed for the restroom.

He saw Shane leaning against the sink. Even from behind, Ilya recognized exactly what he was wearing, he had memorized every detail from the stage. It was an all-black look: a double-breasted suit with a black shirt, wide-leg trousers, and pointed patent leather shoes. Then Shane turned around to face him, and Ilya saw it—the diamond brooch pinned to his lapel. It was the exact same one Ilya had worn during his final North American tour date. Shane had bought it, worn it, and put together this entire outfit just to see Ilya's talk show.

Shane's blushing face was glowing, and for Ilya, it was absolutely breathtaking.

In the end, he successfully got his number into Shane's hands, even if he basically forced it on him. Now, he was lying on the sofa in his Montreal apartment, the one Svetlana told him to rent since he was traveling to Canada so often. Ilya scrolled through his chat history with "Jane", just waiting for Shane to finally reach out. Even if the chances felt slim.

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Sure enough, Shane replied to Lily's message first. Ilya immediately started tapping away on his screen, while the scent of lilies drifted through his apartment.

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Ilya set his phone aside and leaned his head back against the sofa's armrest, staring up at the ceiling where the floor lamp threw a soft, warm circle of light. This was the first time he'd ever talked about mama in public. It was deeply personal, and it definitely wasn't in the original interview script.

But just thinking about Shane sitting there in the front row, listening to him open up about the most important woman in his life... it gave him the courage he needed to say it. He was also relieved the host had stepped in so smoothly to guide the rest of the interview. Now, he was about to reveal even more to Shane. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, the sweet scent of lilies filling his senses.

He opened his eyes and picked up the phone.

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Ilya smiled to himself. It was only because Shane was such a good person that Ilya felt like he could talk forever.

－

It was true. Mama used to sit at the piano every night before bed and play Dreaming. Whenever Ilya closed his eyes, he could still hear the sound of her music drifting toward his childhood bed, but her voice—the way she called his name—was starting to blur in his memory.

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Ilya's vision blurred as his emotions swirled like a blizzard. He climbed off the sofa and made his way toward the piano. He didn't bother with the overhead lights. The floor lamp was the only thing casting a glow in the room. In the dimly lit space, he pressed down on the keys. The melody echoed through the apartment, and the darkness was no longer an obstacle, every note seemed to light up the room, chasing away the gloom buried deep inside him. It wasn't until the music began to carry his tears away that Ilya finally noticed the low hum of his phone vibrating.

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Ilya immediately added the number to his contact list.

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Ilya toyed with the necklace around his neck, his mind stuck on the word "prove". Without even thinking, he bit down on the cross pendant with his front teeth and kept tapping away on his keyboard.

－

The back-and-forth with Shane made Ilya feel bold. He was just testing the waters with some flirting, and Shane was actually playing along. He sucked on the cross pendant of his necklace, tasting the cold metal on his tongue, but he decided not to push Shane any further tonight. He wanted to leave the tension hanging there, keeping Shane on edge. 

Still, he had a few more questions to really test him.

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Ilya watched the typing bubbles flicker on and off, feeling his restlessness grow with every second. He let out a long breath. He didn't want to make things awkward for Shane, but just as he was about to take back what he said, the messages finally popped up.

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Very, very happy. 

Ilya had his answer. For today, it was enough.

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Shane's outfit was actually inspired by Hudson's all-black Balenciaga look from the 2026 Oscars! I know Hudson's Bvlgari brooch isn't the same as the Tiffany one Connor wore, but come on...we can all agree that we'd totally buy the exact same pieces as our idols if we had money, right? 🥺💸